Saturday, March 17, 2018 @ 19:47 


i live with skin allergies and eczema so it was always inaccurate to describe my skin as smooth or “like butter”. this picture was probably one of the last times when it was close to being those things. right now, it’s at its worst due to a combination of singapore’s temperamental weather, stray cat hair and stress from work. as i run my fingers across the patches of skin that are slowly healing, i remember when my grandmother (she’s a lovely woman who means well), once stroked my arms and while caressing it, she had chided and lamented: how could any man love you with your skin like this?

it was funny then, and still funny now. why is it that love is oft associated with the superficial, and not that which is unseen and beneath the surface of things? and as a child, when you’re surrounded by this attitude, it tends to stick to you. words used to cut me so deeply. i let them carry so much weight and power over me. i have many memories of people not seeing what i had wholeheartedly believed was what was the most important to possess: a heart that hoped to fit everything inside it. there’s an entry in my garfield diary where someone told my twelve-year-old self that my glasses made me look ugly.

but beauty is, in the eye of the beholder1. we each, are, the beholder of beauty. but the measure of beauty that tends to perpetuate and is taught to us, prefers perfection over essence. this is why i believe in the love, compassion and generosity of music and sound. the rhythm never judges you or your body. whatever the genre, or style, the beat means no harm. you’re either with it and in it, or tuned out and without it. and all it wants is for you to be moved to move.

i had bgirl2 dreams in university — i have classmates that can tell you more about this. truth is, i never really went out of my way to share my love for dance until last year. then last week, i received some news that made me feel like i’ve won some sort of lifetime achievement award related to dance. it makes me so happy and shy, like someone in love — so all i’m going to say is, it’s an honour kilo lounge. i love you!

the rhythm is beyond your skin and your body, it is a happy place that can be found by every one of us, so we can dance and be absurd together.

  1. the earlier citation of this saying is attributed to a woman, and i’m not surprised. 


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